Tag Archives: support

No true fighter for a cause ever came out unscathed.


Some of the hardest people to work with, are those who will not accept responsibility for their actions and those who are crying out for help but will not embrace it when it arrives. There are way more which I can add to this list however I am dealing with these type of persons for now.

At times it is better not to know, hear or see for when you know you have a responsibility to act and do something, sadly when you do act. You place yourself in an open position to be blamed, accused and even refused.

Helping people is a science it is technical, difficult and also simple. There are so many factors attached, I do not believe in just giving clothes, shoes, food or a house I firmly believe that these can be given easily, however the real issue is dealing with the root cause of why that person is in the position they are in.

How do we begin to address the root cause and work with people to accept blame and responsibility for their bad life choices and negative behaviours which have impacted so many around them. People love to cast blame accepting blame seems to be a serious disorder.

After saying all this here is a list of some of the hardest people to work with:

1. A chronic abuser who blames everyone and everything, and firmly believes in his/her mind that they are doing nothing wrong, such a person is deceptive, evil and dangerous. They will even blame those who are helping them and attach their actions and behaviours to the person.

2. A victim who has been silently crying out for help and deliverance, when the help is near even in their mouth and reaches out to embrace it however reclines in fear, afraid to be set free, while saying they will embrace it, this same victim will be grateful for the help but will also turn against those who have come to help belching the sentiments of the abuser. While inwardly is crying.

3. Children who are constantly exposed to abuse, it is said that after 7 years a child will learn various things which will be very hard to let go off and unlearn, it is also said it is easier to fix a child than a broken adult.

4. Many in society who say “You should’ve left them alone in their mess”

5. Many NGO’s who are just plastering and not healing.

Many will say leave it alone, however I would say continue, continue to help even if you are able to save one child from that toxic circle then you have done well, if you can open the mind of one victim that their conscience will continue to bother them then you have done well and even if you can show an abuser that you are not afraid of them then you have done well.

Nobody said the road of an advocate would be an easy one but the few rewards will be well worth the struggle, no true fighter for a cause ever came out unscathed. We should always be reminded of the saying “Woe unto you when everyone shall speak well of you for so did their fathers unto the false prophets.”

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Women encouraging women for excellence in our daily walk


Every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday here on O.AB.I. Voices Against Abuse we blog about WOMEN, yes WOMEN and I decided to do this after a wonderful experience I had with some beautiful women, I invite you to take this journey with me as I blog about us women and also about the seriousness of domestic violence and abuse.  So look out for Women encouraging excellence in our daily walk.

As I sat in a women’s meeting, I looked meticulously and in awe at the way in which the women present motivated and encouraged fellow women to excel  and be the best they can become for they were destined for greatness, envy, jealously, bitterness, maliciousness, or hypocrisy went out the door these were not present but only encouragement, praise, blessings, words of life, comfort, healing, and love.

Even when they had to speak or critic another woman they did it with such royalty,and tender compassion in a constructive manner and I was taken aback, if this comradeship, network, and fellowship can only spread then women will truly be a mighty army for good and greatness.

As I sat in the room which was enveloped with positive energy, one by one women spoke of their visions and plans and their ideas, their problems, financial situation, and family and marital issues and not one woman was condemned, not one woman present snuffed at the ideas or problems of another but all was embraced and not only did they embrace the plans, visions, and ideas of the other women they gave suggestions, and offer resources to help make the plans fruitful to the benefit of all, they offered resources to bring reconciliation and healing, they offered resources to restore marriages, friendships and inner healing.

Hurting women hurt others and there are way too many hurting women around if there is no healing then they will destroy one another and everything and everyone around them, as I sat there and the hours went by I saw that these women were standing in the gap to help women heal, I saw that they were restoring the breach and the hurt of women and I also saw that women were not making excuses but were with great humility acknowledging their faults and failures, there errors and mistakes.

As I sat  in this meeting I was welcomed and embraced with such genuine love that you can just feel it in the atmosphere, and I just fitted right in, it was as though I knew these women years ago and I learned a valuable lesson and that is as women we are constantly under attack by the enemy and the attacks can be more dangerous if other women gang up against us.

With a movement like what I experienced in that meeting we can be each other’s keepers, supporters, motivators,  or we can be each other’s divider’s or destroyers, life is a lesson book and we learn each day that we live, we also become better persons, remain as we are, or we get more bitter.

I made a decision months ago to be a better person with each passing hour not living on the husk and failings of the past as women who dwell there can never move forward and truly be another woman’s motivator or support, from that meeting I reaffirmed that decision and with Christ as my head there is no looking back it is time that we let this movement spread to every individual, home, family, community and nation.

It is time that the greatness of women excel and we send a strong message that we are no longer divided but we are united for greatness as we are “women encouraging excellence in our daily walk”.

As women we were and are created with a purpose and for a purpose we need not be content with the fact that we are born we need to accomplish our purpose and leave our mark of excellence where ever we may go.  There is an agenda to destroy women emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially.

Women are being hurt in every way possible, I wrote this post to encourage women to aspire for excellence,  as a woman no one encouraged me and I made a whole heck of mistakes along the way, I learned from all of them but I did not just learn I am today living what I have learned so while others may remain and continue to rehearse my mistakes and errors I am now soaring like the Eagle for the Lord has risen me from the ashes.

Does this mean I will not make a mistake in the near future, well!! Honestly I hope not but if I do I know that I have a great bunch of women who are backing me, showing me the things which so easily beset me, encouraging me, praying for me and with me and are pushing me to be the best. I know there is a place that I can resort to like a sanctuary and the discussions are never to look at the flaw’s but to look at remedies and suggestions to rise and move forward, I know the discussions are not to look on the outward or what came out but it is to look at the hidden beauty which the enemy is trying to stifle.

To these women I say, as you have my back so do I have yours and as this atmosphere of excellence spreads and gets contagious may we enjoy meeting new women and lifting them up and encouraging them, may we enjoy meeting strangers and giving them a word of blessing and may we continue to have pure thoughts which will make us noble.

One of the worst things for a woman is to be in an atmosphere of discouragement, resentment, bitterness, hate, anger, unforgiveness,  and despair, as these energies are sent out they sap the energy of others and what you get at the end of the day is a room filled with bitter women each trying to prove that they are worthy to be heard, seen, appreciated, accepted, teach, educate, spiritual, and also have years of experience.

What you get is a room filled of pretenders from all levels while all claim to be alive and happy, while all claim to be prospering and filled, what you really get is a room filled with women like angry dogs tearing at everything and anyone whom they think to be an enemy, what you get is a room filled with women biting and devouring one another, devouring one another in the open, in groups, behind closed doors, in the secret chambers, and in the closets of the mind without saying a word but the energy is felt.

“Women Encouraging Excellence”  as I post ever so often about us women yes us women, because we are not perfect, we need help, we need direction, we have made a multitude of mistakes and errors, I shall deal with real issues which we try to cover and hide under the rug.

However the rug is getting really high and that dirt needs to be cleared or you will keep falling continually and you will not see the light which is coming from the room behind the mountain of dirt under the rug, this is a real blog and we aim to deal with real life issues and bring solutions for women to excel. We also deal with domestic Violence and Abuse.

You will receive tough love, gentle love, support, counsel, words of encouragement, and solutions to many of life’s problems which confront us, the authors will give their own experiences which shaped their lives to become women of excellence in our walk with God.

This blog is for all women, Christian women and non-Christian women all are welcomed and invited to take part as we venture on our journey of excellence.

The Time has come for women to rise from the ashes and soar like the Eagle.