Unbiased Advocacy.


find_savings_unbiased

What does it take for a woman advocate to truly stand in defense of both women and men.  I was brought to a rude awakening by a friend in regards to this matter, I always thought that I was very fair in my advocacy however when I was confronted with some facts I had to acknowledge that I did not like what I saw, did I acknowledge what I saw yes, did I apologize for my failure and the part which I played, yes I did, do I feel responsible for what happened to a 24-year-old male and what is happening to other men in this country and around the world, YES!

Because domestic violence and abuse is highlighted as a woman’s only issue I believe many women advocates have become blindsided and stand in defensive of women even when the woman is the perpetrator of abuse, now I am not dealing with the issues where women have been victims of abuse and one day they may lash out in defense of themselves.

I am speaking about women who are calculated, cold, and are perpetrators of  all types of abuse from verbal to physical, I speak of women who have no remorse for the acts of abuse which they are committing or have committed, I speak of women who will use the law to their advantage to continue to abuse their companions further, or even strangers.

I speak of women who have lied on men with such sinister subtlety that it is amazing and can take years to decipher and by the time it is noticed the man is already dead or emotionally drained and devoid of self-worth, confidence, and does not identify himself as a man.

The same passion and vigor which so many female advocates put into speaking out against the atrocities which is perpetrated against women and girls must also be put into effect for men and boys. If as advocates we are not unbiased in our advocacy then we have failed big time, we have even failed the women we vowed to speak out for and we have failed humanity.

My friend shared with me a news article of an incident where a woman killed her boyfriend and children’s father, and he asked me the following questions.  “Not a ‘peep’ from a single female NGO Sherna? What’s going on dahlin?”

I have read the article and it is indeed a very sad incident which has occurred, I have also read the comments and as much as I agree with some of the comments, as an advocate I also disagree with many, as the founder of an NGO which deals with domestic violence and abuse it is required of me to speak out against any type of abuse without favour and bias.

Abuse does not change because persons cross borders.

Women, men and children have been and continue to be both victims and perpetrators of abuse.

There is still a large amount of ignorance on the subject of abuse even in this enlightened age.

Shame continues to hold victims in the prisons of abuse.

Family member’s continue to believe that the abuse will pass and one day all the quarreling and threats will end without violence, sadly in many cases extreme violence and even death brings a closure to the abuse.

Innocent children have to bear the loss of parent or parents. Families  try to preserve the family unit even at the peril of a life, sad but true.

Many want this social blight to stop and be eradicated however they do not want to speak out and also invest their resources or assist with getting resources to do the work.

Many persons speak out on women’s issues and this is commendable I am one of those who continually speak out against domestic violence and abuse perpetrated against women. However we so often neglect to speak out vigorously against the abuse which is perpetrated against men. Today I apologize to all men especially men who are victims of abuse, I have failed you in my advocacy and I humbly apologize, I am sorry.

To all those who have commented about the nationality of the victim and the abuser I need to say that abuse has no nationality, gender, race, ethnicity, religious persuasion or economic class. Abuse is a violation of a person’s human rights and it must be called out for what it is, it is a sick calculated, atrocious, blatant, deadly crime, all the other mitigating factors which may surround the act of abuse must not be used as a facade.

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/news/Jamaican_man_killed_-188143471.html

SEE, FEEL, and ACT. Restore faith in humanity.


When distress, disappointment, discouragement, and failure leads you to doubt your faith and you lose trust and hope in everything and everyone. What do you do?

Many will say keep trusting, keep having faith, keep hoping but when hope is gone when you cannot see or hear from the one whom you have boasted about, when you cannot hear that still small voice, when all you see is darkness and despair. What do you do?

Many will say hold unto hope, your deliverance is just around the corner, when there is no food on the table, and behind the many smiles is only pain, when the children call out to you, and you have nothing to give them you cannot feed them, you cannot get medical care for them and their cries of pain digs in your heart and soul, when the boss says “today is your last day on the job”. What do you do?

When the bank comes knocking at your door, when your medical bills are so high that you are lost in the pile up, when your debts have you overwhelmed, when the car has just broken down and there is no way you can afford to fix it, when you have no place to stay and you are now thinking of living on the streets or in a shelter. What do you do?

When your best friend has died and you feel so alone, when you cry out to God asking why but you receive no response, when door after door is shut, when the natural storms like Sandy has taken everything from you. What do you do?

When you are all cried out, talked out, faith out, hoped out, and is questioning your faith which you stood on for years, when you are standing all alone in the midst of the storms, all alone against all the mountains, and Pastor does not even know your pain. What do you do?

When you have listened to all the stories of deliverance, when you walk the streets or take the cab wishing that someone will just walk up to you and say “Here God told me to give this to you”, when with each breath the burden seems not to lighten but only gets heavier, when bad news one after the other keeps hitting like a raging Tornado. What do you do?

What do you do?
You dig deep within for that last ounce of hope and faith and you believe in humanity, you believe that someone somewhere out there will be moved to SEE, FEEL, and ACT. How do we SEE, FEEL, and accept the ACTIONS of GOD, it is through humanity, today I encourage you to SEE, FEEL, and ACT. Someone out here is counting on you, for you may just be their last hope for survival.

Our faith is restored in God and in Humanity when humanity SEE, FEEL, and ACT, knowing that when you give you win, you heal, you restore the brokenness in humanity, you afford someone the chance to live again with purpose, faith renewed, hope restored, and knowing that even though humanity may be broken there are still ANGELS walking among men. From your girl ~ Rising from the Ashes ~ Sherna Alexander Benjamin.

Awareness and Action


It marvels me that many people are speaking about awareness continually, year go year come and awareness is the constant and consistent subject, persons have been speaking about awareness for time immemorial. Many persons are aware that abuse and human rights violations are taking place but awareness is NOT ACTION.

What we need NOW is not

 only awareness but POSITIVE ACTIONS which will bring about a change in social norms. POSITIVE ACTIONS which will bring about POSITIVE CHANGES.

Governments are spending millions on awareness campaigns, what about the ACTION. While awareness campaigns are going on victims are dying, ACTION will save them.

When Hitler was killing the Jews many countries were aware of it but the Jews deliverance came when ACTION was taken.

Many persons are aware that Domestic violence, abuse, human trafficking, bullying, and human rights violations are taking place every second of the day, will awareness alone save the victims, I think NOT, ACTION and Awareness goes hand in hand.

Today I encourage you to step up and combine Action to Awareness.

Love you all, this post is from your girl… Rising from the Ashes~

Healing is our individual responsibility.


Healing is our individual responsibility.

Pain and Healing two things we can never escape, the pain hurts and wounds us deep some of us so deep that we think all is lost, we think that relationships can never be the same again, we think heck NO I am not doing this again.

But healing is like a breath of fresh air which fragrance the soul with the scent of Roses and perfumed flowers so rare that we find delight and joy in the possibility of healing, that we envision a grander and more beautiful relationship.

There is no price attached to healing only a huge PRIZE, however does healing come just like that? OH NO you must move forward, at times you have to take the first step you have to move forward.

Healing feels GREAT there is no other feeling which can be compared to it, but to get that healing we must put away pride, self, and be humble. Not rushing in to talk about the pains of the past but catapulting to speak about the joys of the future.

This morning while speaking to my youngest daughter on the phone I was holding back the tears and she tried to hold back the tears for a while and then you could have heard it in both our voices, it was the triumphal sound of HEALING and we spoke as though it was the continuation of a conversation. this is true healing.

I encourage you to embrace healing today, call a loved one and heal brokenness, call a friend and say let us move forward, call yourself and say NOW is the time for healing restoration and reconciliation, for God says that “Healing is the Children’s bread”

I leave you with the wonderful words of ― C. JoyBell C. I think she said it best and was more eloquent and articulate than myself.

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here.
Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing.
Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”

From the desk of “Rising from the Ashes” ~Sherna Alexander Benjamin

 

A message from the Founder for August Issue.


Many persons keep asking me to post my monthly messages which are published in the magazine on my blog and on our Facebook pages, so I am humbling responding to their request.  This was the message from the Founder for the August issue.  If you are easily offended then please do not read this post for all my monthly messages for the magazine are straight talk no cover up.  Love me or hate me I am doing what I was born and forged to do and that is to serve my Creator and Lord and to be a voice for the voiceless.

Through the fires of pain, trauma, bitterness, hate, deprivation, stolen identity, rape, murder, anger, resentment, lies, deceit, cutting down, and many building up was I forged by the hands of my maker, and refined during my healing process and today my voice will not be silent, because children are dying, women are being brutalized and sold, men are being sold and brutalized. And shall I keep silent? 

A message from the Founder

I will continue to stand for the right even if I stand alone, even if family and friends forsake me, and even if the world is against me, I will stand for the right until the day I breathe my last breath for I have no fear of death because I have found my reason for living!

Many persons have their own understanding and concept of what is right and what is wrong but I honestly believe that there should only be one consensus when it comes to domestic violence and abuse, especially child abuse.  And that consensus should be that it is WRONG!

I believe in God and I believe in his word and no way in the word of God does Jesus Christ condone child abuse, if Christians truly read the word they would realize that even Jesus himself rebuked the Apostles when they tried to hinder the children from coming to him. 

I was truly applaud when I heard a few people who claim to be Christians say that they would not attend a Symposium which dealt with abuse because God was not in it, because Christians should not take Gods precious time loaned to them to attend such things, they even went on to say that time is too short and Jesus is soon to come and Christians should not get themselves side tracked with these things, because it was prophesied that these things will happen and there is nothing we do can stop it.

 At times like these I fully agree with anyone who says they do not want anything to do with Christians because many Christians are their own worst enemy and the upholders of some of the basest, sick, dark, deluded, and criminal acts of crimes being perpetuated in this world. 

 Many profess Christians are disgracing the character of God in the earth and causing many to blaspheme the name of God because they are inept to really handle the various social issues of life and they have their heads  stuck in the sand and their buts in the air while they sing Jerusalem is my home, while they chant we are marching to Zion.

What HYPOCRISY! What total abandonment of the sacred trust which God has given to his children to uphold, the word says “Sigh and cry for the abominations done in the land but more so in the church”  I now realize why the word says “More so in the church” for many churches, synagogues and places of worship are stinking with hate, bitterness, domestic abuse, rape, human trafficking, child abuse, modern-day slavery, bullying, envy, jealously, backbiting, un-forgiveness, fornication, adultery, pornography, lust, avaricious behaviour, and all the things which the darkness of this world delights in, and what stinks before God is the fact that they come into the sanctuary and profess to lift holy hands and call the sacred name of Christ.

While they have the audacity to stand in the holy place and pass judgements on many who they are not in favour with, they have the boldness to stand in the holy place and encourage children to remain distant from parents, husbands to abuse their wives, and young people to marry every Tom, Dick, Jane, Mary, and Harry because they say “It is better to marry than to burn”  so forget about counselling and seeking parental advice and approval let us marry them because they are burning in the flesh for sexual pleasure and so they open the flood gates to all type of lascivious behaviour, divorce, misrepresentation of the sacredness of marriage, and unhappy marriages while they have the boldness to stand in the holy place and encourage their membership not to speak with those whom they think is not of God.

Today I say that such holy places are not holy and that the Devil has found delight in their worship and praise and the eyes of God are turned away as their corrupted sacrifices go up only to be penned in the book of death not the book of life and the unseen watchers are looking on with disgust.

I boldly declare and have been saying the following for years “I am not a Christian! I am a child of God, I am an obedient believer in the word” for the word Christianity has a bitter and distasteful taste in the mouths of many, when ministers can encourage their members not to attend any symposium or conference which brings education and speaks out against abuse, then I boldly declare that such ministers are in full partnership with the DEVIL and are supporters of every evil act of abuse and all those who listen to such counsel have formed allegiances with the darkness of this earth.

The time has come where every government in this earth should pass laws which mandate every minister to attend a one week course workshop twice per year, and at the end of the workshop a test should be given to see how much they understand and are willing to speak out against this evil crime of abuse which literally kills and if they fail the government have the right to revoke the license.

The time has come where every government in this earth should pass laws which mandates that three times a year  an educational workshop which deals with abuse should be conducted in churches, and every minister, lay minister, elder or any person who holds any type of office in a church should attend a course workshop once per year.

The word speaks about the ministry of reconciliation and healing but many ministers are teaching separation and destruction by their wilful actions of encouraging their members not to support the cause against domestic violence and abuse because of their own personal grievances or lack of education they encourage abuse and the killing of children, women, and men the upholder is worst than the thief, by your wilful neglect you uphold the hand of ever abuser in the world.

For this month of August and every month after I encourage you to speak to your minister, speak to your elders, speak to the men and women’s fellowship, and to speak to one brother and sister at a time let your church be a beacon in your community let it be a house of refuge to the abused and hurting, let your church be truly a house of praise and worship.

Church should NOT! Be a place to encourage abuse and hate!

Save our

children

Check out the August issue of the magazine which was published on August 21, by clicking the magazine link: 

Please also check out our new organization’s page over on facebook.

I AM FREE


I lived in a prison for a great part of my life I was bound with chains so strong, I was walking around persons with these chains and no one heard the noise of the links clanging to each other, no one saw the chains that kept me bound, and no one could have freed me from what they did not see or willfully did not want to see.

My prison was a dark and lonely place, it was a place of pain and torture I was fed properly, I was given great clothes, so those looking in probably thought I was free, looking back, I have learned to realize that there is always something which will make some one on the outside think, some one always has a second thought and will always be prompted to ask a question but the some one never does.

Last evening I reflected on my pain during the years of my abuse and today I would like to let you know that you are not alone there are so many persons out here who are using their voices to break through the darkness so you can be free and enjoy a wonderful life of love, health, appreciation, and care.

Today you may be hurting so badly and no one around you understands what you are going through and why, the pain which you are experiencing is unbearable, you may be saying all is lost I will die in this situation.  I would like to tell you that you are not alone I was there, I thought I would have died I contemplated suicide many times, I even planned how to do it and what note I will leave behind explaining why I did it.

But every time I tried there was always something happening or someone would come in at the exact time or someone will call to speak to me I have come a long way and still have a long way to go I am thankful to The Creator for his love and please let me tell you I was angry with God for a very long time in my life, I was angry but deep within I knew he loved me, trying to comprehend the love of God and trying to understand why he did not protect me from the abuse made me so confused and angry and at one time I had no zeal to pray or hear from God I thought he deceived me and was cruel to me.

My pain was so deep I would literally feel my heart hurting and felt so lost, abandoned, and worthless I often asked myself what have I done, was I being punished for something I did do or did not do it was like I was so many persons in one with so many emotions, hurt, pain, and sadness all trying to master me and also come out at the same time.

Today I am here to let you know that what you are going through will also pass, right now you may not be seeing the light there may be only darkness surrounding you, and you mask the pain by wearing the long sleeve clothes and no one knows why, you may be applying excessive make up and no one knows why, you may even be promiscuous and no one knows why, the only persons who know why, are you, your abuser or abusers, God, and the unseen watchers.

Please do not let go hold unto HOPE and FAITH for one day your freedom will come, light will shine upon you and you will exhale with joy and shout from the mountain top “I AM FREE, I AM FREE, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE”

Please fell free to email us and share with us your experiences we will support you and encourage you as you go through your experiences, we value each persons confidentiality and privacy.  Email us at support@oabivoices.org

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, Consilio et Animis.

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