Category Archives: O.A.B.I

No true fighter for a cause ever came out unscathed.


Some of the hardest people to work with, are those who will not accept responsibility for their actions and those who are crying out for help but will not embrace it when it arrives. There are way more which I can add to this list however I am dealing with these type of persons for now.

At times it is better not to know, hear or see for when you know you have a responsibility to act and do something, sadly when you do act. You place yourself in an open position to be blamed, accused and even refused.

Helping people is a science it is technical, difficult and also simple. There are so many factors attached, I do not believe in just giving clothes, shoes, food or a house I firmly believe that these can be given easily, however the real issue is dealing with the root cause of why that person is in the position they are in.

How do we begin to address the root cause and work with people to accept blame and responsibility for their bad life choices and negative behaviours which have impacted so many around them. People love to cast blame accepting blame seems to be a serious disorder.

After saying all this here is a list of some of the hardest people to work with:

1. A chronic abuser who blames everyone and everything, and firmly believes in his/her mind that they are doing nothing wrong, such a person is deceptive, evil and dangerous. They will even blame those who are helping them and attach their actions and behaviours to the person.

2. A victim who has been silently crying out for help and deliverance, when the help is near even in their mouth and reaches out to embrace it however reclines in fear, afraid to be set free, while saying they will embrace it, this same victim will be grateful for the help but will also turn against those who have come to help belching the sentiments of the abuser. While inwardly is crying.

3. Children who are constantly exposed to abuse, it is said that after 7 years a child will learn various things which will be very hard to let go off and unlearn, it is also said it is easier to fix a child than a broken adult.

4. Many in society who say “You should’ve left them alone in their mess”

5. Many NGO’s who are just plastering and not healing.

Many will say leave it alone, however I would say continue, continue to help even if you are able to save one child from that toxic circle then you have done well, if you can open the mind of one victim that their conscience will continue to bother them then you have done well and even if you can show an abuser that you are not afraid of them then you have done well.

Nobody said the road of an advocate would be an easy one but the few rewards will be well worth the struggle, no true fighter for a cause ever came out unscathed. We should always be reminded of the saying “Woe unto you when everyone shall speak well of you for so did their fathers unto the false prophets.”

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A message from the Founder for August Issue.


Many persons keep asking me to post my monthly messages which are published in the magazine on my blog and on our Facebook pages, so I am humbling responding to their request.  This was the message from the Founder for the August issue.  If you are easily offended then please do not read this post for all my monthly messages for the magazine are straight talk no cover up.  Love me or hate me I am doing what I was born and forged to do and that is to serve my Creator and Lord and to be a voice for the voiceless.

Through the fires of pain, trauma, bitterness, hate, deprivation, stolen identity, rape, murder, anger, resentment, lies, deceit, cutting down, and many building up was I forged by the hands of my maker, and refined during my healing process and today my voice will not be silent, because children are dying, women are being brutalized and sold, men are being sold and brutalized. And shall I keep silent? 

A message from the Founder

I will continue to stand for the right even if I stand alone, even if family and friends forsake me, and even if the world is against me, I will stand for the right until the day I breathe my last breath for I have no fear of death because I have found my reason for living!

Many persons have their own understanding and concept of what is right and what is wrong but I honestly believe that there should only be one consensus when it comes to domestic violence and abuse, especially child abuse.  And that consensus should be that it is WRONG!

I believe in God and I believe in his word and no way in the word of God does Jesus Christ condone child abuse, if Christians truly read the word they would realize that even Jesus himself rebuked the Apostles when they tried to hinder the children from coming to him. 

I was truly applaud when I heard a few people who claim to be Christians say that they would not attend a Symposium which dealt with abuse because God was not in it, because Christians should not take Gods precious time loaned to them to attend such things, they even went on to say that time is too short and Jesus is soon to come and Christians should not get themselves side tracked with these things, because it was prophesied that these things will happen and there is nothing we do can stop it.

 At times like these I fully agree with anyone who says they do not want anything to do with Christians because many Christians are their own worst enemy and the upholders of some of the basest, sick, dark, deluded, and criminal acts of crimes being perpetuated in this world. 

 Many profess Christians are disgracing the character of God in the earth and causing many to blaspheme the name of God because they are inept to really handle the various social issues of life and they have their heads  stuck in the sand and their buts in the air while they sing Jerusalem is my home, while they chant we are marching to Zion.

What HYPOCRISY! What total abandonment of the sacred trust which God has given to his children to uphold, the word says “Sigh and cry for the abominations done in the land but more so in the church”  I now realize why the word says “More so in the church” for many churches, synagogues and places of worship are stinking with hate, bitterness, domestic abuse, rape, human trafficking, child abuse, modern-day slavery, bullying, envy, jealously, backbiting, un-forgiveness, fornication, adultery, pornography, lust, avaricious behaviour, and all the things which the darkness of this world delights in, and what stinks before God is the fact that they come into the sanctuary and profess to lift holy hands and call the sacred name of Christ.

While they have the audacity to stand in the holy place and pass judgements on many who they are not in favour with, they have the boldness to stand in the holy place and encourage children to remain distant from parents, husbands to abuse their wives, and young people to marry every Tom, Dick, Jane, Mary, and Harry because they say “It is better to marry than to burn”  so forget about counselling and seeking parental advice and approval let us marry them because they are burning in the flesh for sexual pleasure and so they open the flood gates to all type of lascivious behaviour, divorce, misrepresentation of the sacredness of marriage, and unhappy marriages while they have the boldness to stand in the holy place and encourage their membership not to speak with those whom they think is not of God.

Today I say that such holy places are not holy and that the Devil has found delight in their worship and praise and the eyes of God are turned away as their corrupted sacrifices go up only to be penned in the book of death not the book of life and the unseen watchers are looking on with disgust.

I boldly declare and have been saying the following for years “I am not a Christian! I am a child of God, I am an obedient believer in the word” for the word Christianity has a bitter and distasteful taste in the mouths of many, when ministers can encourage their members not to attend any symposium or conference which brings education and speaks out against abuse, then I boldly declare that such ministers are in full partnership with the DEVIL and are supporters of every evil act of abuse and all those who listen to such counsel have formed allegiances with the darkness of this earth.

The time has come where every government in this earth should pass laws which mandate every minister to attend a one week course workshop twice per year, and at the end of the workshop a test should be given to see how much they understand and are willing to speak out against this evil crime of abuse which literally kills and if they fail the government have the right to revoke the license.

The time has come where every government in this earth should pass laws which mandates that three times a year  an educational workshop which deals with abuse should be conducted in churches, and every minister, lay minister, elder or any person who holds any type of office in a church should attend a course workshop once per year.

The word speaks about the ministry of reconciliation and healing but many ministers are teaching separation and destruction by their wilful actions of encouraging their members not to support the cause against domestic violence and abuse because of their own personal grievances or lack of education they encourage abuse and the killing of children, women, and men the upholder is worst than the thief, by your wilful neglect you uphold the hand of ever abuser in the world.

For this month of August and every month after I encourage you to speak to your minister, speak to your elders, speak to the men and women’s fellowship, and to speak to one brother and sister at a time let your church be a beacon in your community let it be a house of refuge to the abused and hurting, let your church be truly a house of praise and worship.

Church should NOT! Be a place to encourage abuse and hate!

Save our

children

Check out the August issue of the magazine which was published on August 21, by clicking the magazine link: 

Please also check out our new organization’s page over on facebook.

The History of O.A.B.I. Are you a history maker?



Whenever someone ask me for the history of this organization I try to think of some great and grand thing which happened causing this organization to come into being, I try to think of some eventful and historical moment in earth’s history.  I try to think of some prolific work which this organization has done for the reason of its being, I try to place some marvellous things which will catch the eye and hearing of the reader.  However I always resort to the real history of this organization and that history is Sherna Benjamin, and every victim of abuse those known by me and those unknown to me.

I may not be a Martin Luther, or Mahatma Gandhi, but I have made a mark, I may not be a Nelson Mandela but I fought and I am fighting for persons freedom each day of my life, I believe that each of us are historians in our own right as we shape and make history in our corner where we are placed, each of us are silent heroes and our names shall go down in history because we have fought for the right, we have fought for justice, equality, transparency, and accountability.

Many persons are afraid of transparency or simplicity if you are such a person then the following history of this organization will not be appealing to you; however I trust that what I will write will be enough to be considered history for truly this is what it is.

O.A.B.I.: Organization for Abused and Battered Individuals, has been functioning since 2008, and if I dare to say my entire life, however it was given birth that year and fully organized in 2011, during those years we worked as the people will say “silently, educating, counselling, directing, and housing persons who have suffered under the hand of their abusers, children who have been brutalized, persons who have been raped, persons seeking safe housing and those seeking counselling.

We worked silently not looking for accolades or praise for what was and is our duty to do, we worked with no headline news or the video camera as a story-teller, we respected persons confidentiality and right to just seek healing, education, and help.

During those times I directed individuals to the relevant authorities the police, Rape Crises society, Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Shelters, or to the hospital if I was not skilled to deal with their situation, time will fail me to recall the many visits where I accompanied victims to the places mentioned above.

The reason I founded this organization is to do something positive with the pain which I endured being emotionally, sexually, and physically abused as a child from the age of six to the age of 15 years, because of my experience, my pain, my fear and the many mistakes and errors in judgments which I made, the emotional turmoil, suicidal thoughts, shame, guilt, stolen identity as a child, anger, hurt, and seeking for genuine love, I had to speak out and reach out.

I cannot go back to change what happened, I cannot erase it from the history books which the unseen watchers has penned it in, however I can help others and prevent innocent children, women, and men from being touched by this evil.

I had to put on my Armour and enlist in this battle not by my choice but it was forced upon me, and as a soldier in this war against abuse I must free my fellow soldiers who are kept as prisoners of war.

After years of trying to evade my past I had to confront the demons I was running from, in doing so I had to educate myself on the subject the education and knowledge which I received and imparted into my life made me a better person emotionally and not bitter continually.

I had to accept that the abuse was not my fault, and seek to heal in all the areas of my life which was damaged.  Looking at my life and what I passed through and even still going through as abuse is something you can never forget because there are the flashbacks and triggers but you learn to survive, you learn to become and remain a victor not a victim.

It dawned on me that my experience, was and can never be an isolated one, reflecting on my pain, my emptiness, my years of conflicts, and confusion of mind I needed to do something, I needed to be a voice to the voiceless, as I reached out to other’s I also was receiving healing.

During my nightly visits there was no one to protect me, there was no one who educated me in school, Church, television, radio, nor at social gatherings, there no one to ease my pain. Abuse was happening everywhere, but it was a taboo subject even up to now it is still a taboo subject in many organizations, families, communities, social gatherings, and nations many persons have placed a gag order on the subject so the victims are continually living in fear and shame, fear of the abuser and fear to speak out and reach out for help because of the misconceptions of many in society on the matter.

When I looked at children going home from school I often wondered and ask myself, what are they going home to meet?.  Is it a home of love, care, support, and compassion or is it a home of fear, trauma, rape, and all types of abuse?. 

When I encounter an angry worker or see an adult looking lost and bewildered I ask myself, has this person been or is being abused?

When I read the news papers and listen to the news and here of horrific cases of abuse I ask the question how can I reach out and help this person heal?, if the person has been killed I ask myself, how can I share and give information to educate and remove illiteracy on the subject?

When I see and hear of persons having to run to the police, medical professionals, and the Rape Crises society because they have been violated by strangers in the most horrific manner, when family and friends have to sit and endure the mental torment and physical agony of seeing their loved ones medically examined and tested for all manner of sexually transmitted diseases, when they have to sit through counselling sessions, and look at the fear in their loved ones faces, the shame of having persons know what happened to them, the fear to leave their homes,  and for the duration of the  sexual violation the victim wondering if they will be killed some have even said it were better if the abuser did kill them.

I could no longer remain silent, I had to get involved, when I had to comfort a young lady from church because her fiancé tried to kill her as she was subjected to months of abuse and torture, even her family was terrorized, when I had to look at the many stitches and the scars which this young lady has to live with for the rest of her life I had to get involved.

When the innocence of our children who are our future and our future leaders are glutinously taken away by the avaricious perverted appetites of predators and paedophiles sucking our children dry leaching upon them with devilish pleasure and ease, when our young women and men are captured and sold and traded as sex slaves and labourer’s in sweat shops for the monetary gain of those who find pleasure in this dark and deluded trade of sealed and perfected wickedness then I had to be a voice.

When I hear of persons taking their own lives because of being bullied and attacked I could no longer study myself I had to get involved, when families will call crying and asking for help because their relative was raped but begging me to keep that deadly secret I had no other choice but to get involved and fight even if I was the only one fighting I had made up my mind that silence was no longer an option for me, history has taught me that one solider can turn the tide of the battle and so I step into the ring to be an ADVOCATE against Domestic Violence and Abuse.

Even if it was my voice alone, it must be heard, even if I had to speak with one person at a time I had to do something, as abuse was surrounding me and it would be a criminal act for me to continue to remain silent, it is because I am free, I am duty bound to speak out, reach out, educate, and help.

No longer can we as a people sit comfortably and say it can never happen to me or my family, abuse creeps in unawares and ruins your life in the blink of an eye, the last thing I thought would have confronted me as a child was “identity theft” the stealing of my childhood and the abuse which I endured, no one knows when abuse will come knocking and enter a crease in the window no one knows and none of us are prepared for it when it comes.

In school we are taught how to prepare for a fire, how to prepare for examinations, we are taught how to prepare for a hurricane, earthquake, storm and even how to prepare for a family of our own.  We are taught etiquette’s and manners, we are taught cleanliness and how to be tidy, we are instructed in many schools in reference to our spiritual life, however we are never taught how to prepare for abuse.

Organizations teach their employees and will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on proper customer service, but they are never taught and instructed as what to do when abuse is creeping through the cracks.

Books are written about the history of nations and men’s lives, books are written on crime, on getting rich and every other thing, but what about the victims of abuse would a noted author take his/her time to write about the atrocities which the victim had to endure, will they take their time to write about prevention and signs of abuse, for many the answer will be no, for this issue is not a popular one nor is it one for monetary rewards and profits.

The answer to all my questionings came to me while I was speaking to an individual about abuse and the answer is simple, it is VOICE EMPOWERMENT, empower individuals to use their voice, empower children to use their voice, empower families to use their voice, empower the nation to use its voice, empower those in authority and the government to use their voice, empower the media to use its voice, and empower the social network generation to use its voice.

Education is one of the main keys of life; if there is no education then only illiteracy and chaos will reign, no education you cannot make proper decisions and be informed and accountable. I have been championing this cause through education, educating individuals, organizations, and groups on the subject of abuse.

I will like to educate the nation, our Caribbean neighbours, and by extension the world on the subject, I will like to partner and network with individuals, advocates, organizations, and groups so we can work together in educating the population as no one person, group, or organization can do it alone.

With this purpose in mind It is off utmost importance as time is of the essence that we use the media, the internet, and social networks effectively to educate the public on the subject of abuse this social issue which is belting the globe and touching every nation and community with its evil blight, this harbinger of doom which have no mercy, shows no respect, have no regards for age, sex, ethnicity, religious persuasion, or financial position.

It stretches its hand into the halls of palaces and the homes of the peasant, it creeps in subtly into the dwellings of the educated and uneducated alike, and it runs through communities like a mighty torrent leaving many broken and damaged, even leaving some dead.

You ask for the history of this organization the history is my life, the history is the life of every child which has been and is currently being sexually abused and battered, the history is the victims of abuse in this nation and around the globe. The history is every person who is subjected to human trafficking and forced labour and is a victim of the sex trafficking trade, the history is every young man who has been and is being abused, the history is you and I and being the voice for the voiceless.

I can now stand tall and boldly declare that I am a survivor and each day which dawns I am embracing my survival with authority and love I now experience peace, joy, love, and knowing and loving me is a wonderful feeling, finding who I am and accepting the fact that the abuse was not my fault, being free of all those demons as I call them, which haunted me for years and now I have found my purpose which is to empower people to use their voice.

I do not know everything I will learn as I go and also share as I go, me not knowing everything will not stop me from sharing what I do know, I may not be perfect in all areas of my life but I am perfect in some and will continue to grow and be a voice for it is my duty because I am free.

Being silent is the greatest crime to humanity, it is because I am now free that I am duty bound to speak out, duty bound to help those affected by abuse and to educate persons on this issue.

I took time to research information and speak to various persons and step by step my healing came, remaining silent is not an option for me anymore breaking the silence is not a popular choice but it is the right choice. 

And because of these things I was moved with great passion, compassion, purpose, and care to form this organization called O.A.B.I., to educate and inform persons about the seriousness of abuse, because this is what I was destined to do and that is to be a VOICE.  What about you are you are VOICE are you empowered, are you making a difference? If the answer is no then it is never to late to begin for history never stops it continues but we can make a great difference in the way that our history is recorded.  

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