It’s hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to hear. As I sit in the school of life this is a hard and bitter lesson which I have learned and I know it will come again in the future.
Many times we lie to ourselves because we fear facing the truth, may times we lie to other’s because we fear if we speak the truth they will not see as we see, many times we lie to even victims of abuse because we fear pushing them away and hurting them the more, many times we lie to the world because of our silence.
I am a victim who have lied to myself for years about my emotional and mental state due to my abuse and physical torture and what had happened to me as a young person, I lied to myself about the extent of the damaged it caused me and how badly I was broken. I did not want to face the truth of my situation, while on my journey when others spoke even counsellors and doctors telling me the truth about my situation I became incensed and I immediately defended myself.
Even though I have grown and learned through counselling many things I did not want to learn or hear, however I had to hear them, learn them and accept them for my healing, however I seldom used what I learned when I had to counsel, when I had to deal with victims I immediately began shielding them and what I will call protecting them from further harm and brokenness, not realizing that I was destroying these victims the more because I feared to tell them the truth.
I often wondered why many doctors would not treat their own family members whom they loved dearly when a few years ago I asked my personal family doctor the question as to why many doctors do not treat their own wives or children but would refer them to a friend or another associate the response made sense to me his reply was. “Because many of us are too close to them and in trying to save our wives or children, mother or father, brother or sister, because of the high stem of emotions we will not think plainly and will off course damage or kill them, this is a sad reality but it is also the truth.” it was then I realized why psychologist and counsellors do not take their family and friends as patients.
Advocacy is an emotional thing but it is also a professional thing and it needs to be a balanced thing, speaking the truth knowing that the truth will heal the broken victim, victims have been told so many lies for years, that all they look forward to is the continuation of lies from all those who support then, should we as advocates continue to lie to them because of our emotions, I think this is further abuse to the victims, always remember, The truth is hard to accept but a lie hurts more than the truth.