What does it take for a woman advocate to truly stand in defense of both women and men. I was brought to a rude awakening by a friend in regards to this matter, I always thought that I was very fair in my advocacy however when I was confronted with some facts I had to acknowledge that I did not like what I saw, did I acknowledge what I saw yes, did I apologize for my failure and the part which I played, yes I did, do I feel responsible for what happened to a 24-year-old male and what is happening to other men in this country and around the world, YES!
Because domestic violence and abuse is highlighted as a woman’s only issue I believe many women advocates have become blindsided and stand in defensive of women even when the woman is the perpetrator of abuse, now I am not dealing with the issues where women have been victims of abuse and one day they may lash out in defense of themselves.
I am speaking about women who are calculated, cold, and are perpetrators of all types of abuse from verbal to physical, I speak of women who have no remorse for the acts of abuse which they are committing or have committed, I speak of women who will use the law to their advantage to continue to abuse their companions further, or even strangers.
I speak of women who have lied on men with such sinister subtlety that it is amazing and can take years to decipher and by the time it is noticed the man is already dead or emotionally drained and devoid of self-worth, confidence, and does not identify himself as a man.
The same passion and vigor which so many female advocates put into speaking out against the atrocities which is perpetrated against women and girls must also be put into effect for men and boys. If as advocates we are not unbiased in our advocacy then we have failed big time, we have even failed the women we vowed to speak out for and we have failed humanity.
My friend shared with me a news article of an incident where a woman killed her boyfriend and children’s father, and he asked me the following questions. “Not a ‘peep’ from a single female NGO Sherna? What’s going on dahlin?”
I have read the article and it is indeed a very sad incident which has occurred, I have also read the comments and as much as I agree with some of the comments, as an advocate I also disagree with many, as the founder of an NGO which deals with domestic violence and abuse it is required of me to speak out against any type of abuse without favour and bias.
Abuse does not change because persons cross borders.
Women, men and children have been and continue to be both victims and perpetrators of abuse.
There is still a large amount of ignorance on the subject of abuse even in this enlightened age.
Shame continues to hold victims in the prisons of abuse.
Family member’s continue to believe that the abuse will pass and one day all the quarreling and threats will end without violence, sadly in many cases extreme violence and even death brings a closure to the abuse.
Innocent children have to bear the loss of parent or parents. Families try to preserve the family unit even at the peril of a life, sad but true.
Many want this social blight to stop and be eradicated however they do not want to speak out and also invest their resources or assist with getting resources to do the work.
Many persons speak out on women’s issues and this is commendable I am one of those who continually speak out against domestic violence and abuse perpetrated against women. However we so often neglect to speak out vigorously against the abuse which is perpetrated against men. Today I apologize to all men especially men who are victims of abuse, I have failed you in my advocacy and I humbly apologize, I am sorry.
To all those who have commented about the nationality of the victim and the abuser I need to say that abuse has no nationality, gender, race, ethnicity, religious persuasion or economic class. Abuse is a violation of a person’s human rights and it must be called out for what it is, it is a sick calculated, atrocious, blatant, deadly crime, all the other mitigating factors which may surround the act of abuse must not be used as a facade.