I lived in a prison for a great part of my life I was bound with chains so strong, I was walking around persons with these chains and no one heard the noise of the links clanging to each other, no one saw the chains that kept me bound, and no one could have freed me from what they did not see or willfully did not want to see.
My prison was a dark and lonely place, it was a place of pain and torture I was fed properly, I was given great clothes, so those looking in probably thought I was free, looking back, I have learned to realize that there is always something which will make some one on the outside think, some one always has a second thought and will always be prompted to ask a question but the some one never does.
Last evening I reflected on my pain during the years of my abuse and today I would like to let you know that you are not alone there are so many persons out here who are using their voices to break through the darkness so you can be free and enjoy a wonderful life of love, health, appreciation, and care.
Today you may be hurting so badly and no one around you understands what you are going through and why, the pain which you are experiencing is unbearable, you may be saying all is lost I will die in this situation. I would like to tell you that you are not alone I was there, I thought I would have died I contemplated suicide many times, I even planned how to do it and what note I will leave behind explaining why I did it.
But every time I tried there was always something happening or someone would come in at the exact time or someone will call to speak to me I have come a long way and still have a long way to go I am thankful to The Creator for his love and please let me tell you I was angry with God for a very long time in my life, I was angry but deep within I knew he loved me, trying to comprehend the love of God and trying to understand why he did not protect me from the abuse made me so confused and angry and at one time I had no zeal to pray or hear from God I thought he deceived me and was cruel to me.
My pain was so deep I would literally feel my heart hurting and felt so lost, abandoned, and worthless I often asked myself what have I done, was I being punished for something I did do or did not do it was like I was so many persons in one with so many emotions, hurt, pain, and sadness all trying to master me and also come out at the same time.
Today I am here to let you know that what you are going through will also pass, right now you may not be seeing the light there may be only darkness surrounding you, and you mask the pain by wearing the long sleeve clothes and no one knows why, you may be applying excessive make up and no one knows why, you may even be promiscuous and no one knows why, the only persons who know why, are you, your abuser or abusers, God, and the unseen watchers.
Please do not let go hold unto HOPE and FAITH for one day your freedom will come, light will shine upon you and you will exhale with joy and shout from the mountain top “I AM FREE, I AM FREE, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE”
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