Today while browsing the internet and doing some research I came across the tag line which read as follows “If life gives you a story tell it”. I pondered on this tag line for a long period of time and right away I went back to when I was a child, it is amazing what a few words can do and how much of your history and life it can bring to memory, memories you wish you could forget, touches you wish you can scrub your skin clean from, words you wished you never heard, and embraces you wished you never had.
Children did not choose to come into this world, they did not choose which countries to be born in, or the parents who will train, love, care, cherish, protect, and respect them or the parents who will hurt, damage, and destroy them, they came out of the womb not knowing what to expect and how they would be treated but some where within that child they expected to be loved and to receive love.
I am such a child I was brought into this world not because I choose too and if some how I had that choice I would have chosen to be that unborn child waiting for the right parents and the right womb, but this is just my imagination the reality is I am here and I will tell my story for no one can tell it for me and if by telling my story it may help even one hurting soul then what happened to me was not in vain.
As a child I never heard the words “I Love you”, I never felt the warm embrace of love, I never knew what it felt like to be protected and cherished by those who took on the role of guardians, for my childhood was dark, lonely, painful, full of rage, resentment, anger, and hurt. These feelings and emotions should NEVER touch a child’s life. Those on the outside looking in would have longed to be me for they thought my life was great.
There is an innocence in children who only look at the size of the house their friends live in and they would say “WOW I wish I could live with you”, they would look at the sneakers you wear to school and they would say “I wish I could get one like that” they would see all the fancy clothes and the jewelry and they would crave it all.
But what they do not see is the secret behind the veil which you bear, what they do not hear is the code of silence you are sworn to uphold, when years pass and you make a decision to remove the veil and break the code of silence you were sworn to, many do not believe, many are shocked, and many ask the question why are you only now speaking out?. Many would say this happened so long ago, why do you want to hurt your family? Why do you want to bring embarrassment to yourself and them?.
My response is, it may have happened long ago but it is still fresh in my mind, I respond I am not the one hurting my family for my family hurt me relentlessly and without mercy and destroyed my childhood that childhood which damaged my entire life, I respond I am not bringing embarrassment to myself I am freeing myself of the demons which have traveled with me for years. The demons of suicide, the demons of abuse, the demons of emotional and physical abuse, the demons of rape, the demons of child molestation, the demons of my stolen innocence.
My perpetrators justified themselves by using and abusing my body, mind, and breaking my spirit and will to live, today I am finding my justice by speaking out, by exposing, by sharing, by helping others heal, and by receiving my healing, what they thought would have killed me and almost did is today fueling me to save so many from the dangers of abuse and give them the opportunity to also find their justice.
Each one of us have a story some stories are more intense than others, some stories may spring from different roots, some stories may be bitter and some may be sweet, but we all have a story and if life has given us a story then it must be told, it must be told to bring awareness, it must be told to help others, it must be told to bring healing, today I encourage you to tell your story and to tell it bravely.
I encourage you to share your life experience with the world you may never know those whom your story will impact, you may never know those whom your story will change and those who will find courage to tell their story, this will only be known, seen, and felt when you gain the courage to tell your story.