It is said that “Silence is an admission of guilt or Silence is consent” these most popular statements are used daily by many in society, however I like the words of Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) “Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended the more difficult it is to find anything to say”.
Many persons have said if the victim of domestic violence does not speak up it is because they have accepted the abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth the victim of abuse NEVER accepts or encourages their partner to abuse them and use them as a punching bag or verbal floor cloth.
The victim is silent because of fear, shame, guilt, influential and economic positions, society labelling, and recrimination. Fear because of the continual physical and verbal abuse which the victim has to endure.
Fear for their own safety, the safety of their children, and family members. They believe by their silence life is preserved the abuser uses threats to keep the victim in submission and may even commit some gruesome act against someone close to the victim for silence to be maintained.
Society has a huge role to play in this silence as the issue of domestic violence and abuse has met with a callous response from many those who speak against abuse and its narcissistic behaviour are in the minority. The majority of society have the attitude that it is a “domestic” issue and as such should be dealt with in the family circle without outside interference or intervention, many in society place all the blame upon the victim who has been brutalized and damaged.
Many have said “if the victim did not like it they would have left a long time ago rather than stay to be abused”; it is very easy to say what should be done when one is not placed in the situation. While the abused is ridiculed and condemned the perpetrator is placed upon a pedestal as a moral citizen and someone of class and impeccable integrity one who should be emulated by all.
Victim’s silence is not by choice nor is it a sign of acceptance many look at their children, their economic position for themselves and the rest of the family and they ask themselves the following questions.
If I leave how will I get by?
Where will I go?
Will I be able to take care of the children and providing their needs?
Will they have the advantages which they presently have?
How long will my family take care of us and are they ready to deal with our emotional issues?
More questions than answers bombard the mind of the victim as they continue to feel inept as a person and provider having no way out and no one to turn to.
There are those victims who look at the influential standing and positions of authority which the abuser holds, some people seem to think that domestic violence and abuse is not an issue for persons in public life and the celebrity arena.
This issue is very much prevalent among this class however it is an embolden secret within the walls of many influential persons in society, the family members are bound together in gross and dark benumbing silence with the black cords of secrets which eat away at their very heart, conscience, emotion and self-worth.
Many turn to the bottle to release their pain of entrapment, some turn to the wild life and stealing petty things while they have millions, some unfortunately try to commit suicide and others look for love, respect, comfort and care in all the wrong places and by doing all the wrong things all the while seeking an escape.
No one can break the silence of domestic violence and abuse but you, if you continue to be silent other’s may very well interpret it as consent as “silence is a text easy to misread” speaking out removes the guilt and shame and frees you mentally and emotionally.
Material things can be replaced not as quickly as you wish them to be however over time they can be replaced, but a mentally unstable and emotionally weak soul is of greater importance and priceless value than any material thing which one may acquire, mental and emotional stability is not so easily repaired and cannot be replaced.
It is gross negligence and selfishness to grow children in any abusive environment this atmosphere sends a wrong messages about love and family to the children their mental and emotional state is in jeopardy and it wrecks their life and future.
Is it because many persons are free from abuse that they do not see the need to get involved in the campaign against abuse?
Is it that many have broken free from domestic violence and abuse and are still afraid to speak out even though they are free in body but the mind is still imprisoned?
Is it because many avoid the subject in fear of the can of worms which will come forth so they have made a conscious decision to keep silent on this most pressing issue?
The voices and ability of many should be publicly and vocally heard in every area of society unmasking the evil design of this horrendous act which daily unleashes its wrath upon its victims as it sucks them dry and imprisons them, this act of violence has sent many to early painful graves.
Your voice should be heard in every community, in the parliaments, behind the pulpits and in the pews, from the desk of the professional, in the halls of the academic, in the court houses, from the desk of the student, through the pen of the journalist, from the mouths of the reporters and across lands and seas.
From entrepreneur and employee, the actor should tell the story and the singer should re-echo the pain, the social networks and the media should post it abroad now is the time for all to get involved this is a matter of life and death get involved by using your voice, means, and ability in this campaign against Domestic violence and abuse.
Will you continue to say nothing while many victims are sent to early graves physically, emotionally, and mentally?
From the desk of O.A.B.I
Remember abuse is NEVER your fault you are fearful and wonderfully made love you.