Phrases Abusers use.

Perpetrators of abuse have many things in common,  today I will be listing some of the Phrases which many if not all of them use to keep the victim in a state of fear and to transfer blame because they will not accept blame for their behaviour, both male and female, use these phrases to manipulate their victims it is a natural part of their personalities.

If you have some phrases of your own by all means place them in the comments section of this post.

All abusers are dysfunctional individuals, insecure and unable to have a relationship unless they are in complete control. A relationship with them will turn into a toxic relationship, Violence in a relationship means a toxic relationship.

Abusers use threats to cultivate fear, anxiety and despair in their victim. Often they threaten children, family members or friends with harm if the victim doesn’t comply with his demands.

While language is not the only evidence to show a potential abusive relationship, it is very important to note the words that come from your partners mouth be attentive to the communication as verbal abuse is a stepping stone for physical abuse.

Phrases Abusers Use

  1. “Shut up!”
  2. “I’m gonna kill him.”
  3. “You are so stupid.”
  4. “Without me, you’re nothing.”
  5. “We might be divorced someday, but you’ll be dead.  Our vows said ’til death do us part.”
  6. “I am handling the monies around here.”
  7. “You cannot think on your own.”
  8. “You can do nothing right.”
  9. “If you leave me I will kill you.”
  10. “You dotish goat.”
  11. “I could just slap you.”
  12. “No one else will take such crap from you.”
  13. “Your family is too much involved in our business.”
  14. “I could just hit you upside your head and knock some sense into you.”
  15. “A snail moves faster than you.”
  16. “You keep trying my patience.”
  17. “My parents never loved me.”
  18. “No one’s ever going to believe you.”
  19. “My parents beat me.”
  20. “What have I ever done to deserve this?”
  21. “I handle the money.”
  22. “I had a bad day.”
  23. “When I walked in and saw this mess, I lost my temper.”
  24. “I couldn’t let her talk to me that way.”
  25. “Yeah, you tell your friends lies about me. I bet you don’t tell them what YOU do!”
  26. “There was nothing else I could do.”
  27. “You made me do it.”
  28. “I was drunk/high. Drugs made me do it.”
  29. “If you call the cops how will you make out.”
  30. “Think about the children.”
  31. “If you would stay out of it while I am disciplining the kids, I could do it without hitting them.”
  32. “If I can’t have you, nobody else will.”
  33. “Because I said so.”
  34. “I don’t want you talking to/seeing her.”
  35. “She pushes my buttons.”
  36. “I’ll tell you what to do.”
  37. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp.”
  38. “You’re not going out of the house looking like that.”
  39. “I knew you’d be mad because I went out for a beer after work, so I figured I might as well stay out and enjoy myself.”
  40. “You don’t need to know.”
  41. “We’re NOT doing it that way
  42. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
  43. I don’t need batterer intervention.
  44. “You make me hit you.”
  45. “If you don’t like it, tough!”
  46. “I’m different from those other men/women.”
  47. “It’s not abuse.”
  48. “You know what your problem is?”
  49. Nobody has the right to question what I do in my family.”
  50. “I don’t have a paycheck at all.”
  51. “Get over it!”
  52. “I didn’t hit you that hard.”
  53. “This is for your own good.”
  54. “My girl/boyfriend got me upset/angry, etc.”
  55. “I only hit one of the kids. I could have hit them all.”
  56. “You’ll be sorry.”
  57. “I am working longer hours for less money.”
  58. “I’m late because I had some things to do on the way home.”
  59. “You’ll never find anyone who will treat you as good as I do.”
  60. “It was a one-time thing. It won’t happen again.”
  61. “I will embarrass you in public.”
  62. “I will kill that pet of yours.”
  63. “I am stressed.”
  64. “We never [have sex/go on vacation/have any extra money/have any friends/have fun] because of you.”
  65. “If I hear your voice in this house again you will not like what I will do to you.”
  66. “I will mash up every thing in this house.”
  67. “I pay the bills so things will be done my way.”
  68. “You have no say here.”
  69. “When I met you had nothing.”
  70. “You cannot drive before me.”
  71. “You are not using that car.”
  72. “You do not speak to your children like that.”
  73. ” . . . or else.” “Don’t you tell anyone, or else.” “Get this house clean, or else.” “Have my dinner ready when I get home, or else.”
  74. “When I come home, I expect you to have my dinner ready/the children in bed etc. etc.”
  75. “My boy/girlfriend deserved it.”
  76. “I have to keep calling you because I need to make sure you are safe”
  77. “Do you want to spoil everything for us?”
  78. “You need to stop going out with some of your friends they are not good influences.”
  79. “My first wife/husband never did the things you do.”
  80. “You do things to make me angry.”
  81. “I didn’t mean to hurt her/him.”
  82. “You need to spend more time with me than with your family.”
  83. “You blame me for everything.”
  84. “Who’s going to take you seriously?”
  85. “Is your brain working, a three month old child would think better than you.”
  86. “You embarrassed me tonight.”
  87. “You look like a used up old toy, I cannot carry you anywhere.”
  88. “I DARE you to [leave/find another man/lip off to me one more time/raise your voice to me].”
  89. “My pay check doesn’t go as far as it used to.”
  90. “If you hadn’t screamed, I wouldn’t have had to hit you.”
  91. “Why do you have to take all your problems out on me?”
  92. “You do not know how to socialize.”
  93. “You are a fool.”
  94. “What are you going to do for money?”
  95. “I’ll leave you.”
  96. “You’re too needy/dependent.”
  97. “Don’t you ever stop making demands of me?”
  98. “You know I get angry when you do that”
  99. “You are good for nothing.”
  100. “I regret I got married to you, I should of married ……..”
  101. “I am tired of telling you the same thing over and over are you stupid.”
  102. “Who do you think you are?”
  103. “This meal tasted awful when will learn to cook properly this is why I eat out.”
  104. “When will you learn to iron, I cannot wear this.”
  105. “How can one person be so stupid?”
  106. “You are the most ugly, inadequate, selfish person I have ever known.”
  107. “You never listen to a word I say.”
  108. “This is the reason you have no friends and you boyfriend/girlfriend left you.”
  109. “Is that something to talk about?”
  110. “Your voice irritates me, please shut up.”
  111. “You are wrong, I am right!”
  112. “You are giving me this shit, why did you not give it to your previous companion”
  113. “I have done nothing to apologize for”
  114. “You got fat after we got married.”
  115. “This is the reason why you were abused as a child”
  116. “How could you forget that.”
  117. “You have bought a load of junk.”
  118. “I did not mean it, it was a joke”
  119. “You take things to seriously lighten up.”
  120. “I wouldn’t argue with you if I didn’t love you”
  121. “You are such a retard.”
  122. “You are so slow sometimes I think you are mentally retarded.”
  123. “You take everything too seriously.”
  124. “I am the only one hear who knows how to do things the right way”
  125. ‘You’re a lousy wife/partner/mother/lover.’
  126. “You must teach my wife how to set a table like this”
  127. “You need to look more like Jane or John”
  128. “I cannot speak to you at all”
  129. “Your a piece of SHIT.”
  130. “Let me call someone to go with you.”
  131. “Did you not hear me, I said you cannot go.”
  132. You’re lucky to have me.’
  133. ‘Nobody else would want you/put up with you.’
  134. ‘ I only do it because I love you.‘
  135. ‘I’m a man, for God’s sake.’
  136. ‘You women are all the same.’
  137. ‘You’re my wife/partner for Christ’s sake.’
  138. “Why does your family always have to get involved?”
  139. “All you ever do is complain”
  140. “Don’t you ever listen to me?”
  141. “What do you know?”
  142. “You disrespected me”
  143. “Because of me you have reached this far.”
  144. “Without me you will be a nobody.”
  145. “You are nothing.”
  146. “You want to behave like a man then I will hit you like a man”
  147. “You are such an idiot!”

While the phrases in blue belong to this site others are from various sites on the internet, this list will be updated frequently.

From the desk of



One thought on “Phrases Abusers use.”

  1. Keep up the good work in breaking the silence so many persons are being abused and it is overlooked vebal abuse is overlooked each day.


We value your contribution do share with us.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s