I have been thinking what will I say to a Christian person who is being abused; many persons will open their mouths in shock and say to me “are you mad!!!! Christian people who shout the name of Jesus, pray, read the bible and attend church do not get abused”.
I am not mad nor do I live in a fantasy day-dream world like some will like it to be, we live in a real world with real pain, sorrow, joy and problems and yes Christians live in this world also not because they are Christians are they exempted or immune from life’s situations and problems.
Many preachers tell their people “We as Christians are to be PROSPEROUS and nothing will happen to you if you continue sowing a seed just sow a seed and the devil will not touch you nor your family and all your problems will vanish… poof” and this is why many women, children, and men are keeping silent while being brutally battered and abused.
They say to themselves “I am a Christian and doing everything right I cannot speak about this it will send a wrong message” so they have decided to remain in an abusive relationship and go shout all the hallelujah’s they know and dance but inwardly there is no peace and their daily life is one of fear.
My friend you need to break the silence not because you are a Christian should you accept abuse or be ashamed to speak out about abuse, or lend your support to the cause rather it is because you are a Christian that the responsibility is laid upon you to speak out abuse is a reprehensible vile cruel monstrous behaviour which needs to be eradicated.
You are fearful and wonderfully made God created you unique to be loved, appreciated and respected, not to be punched, kicked, belittled or abused together with your companion your relationship ought to show the beauty of holiness, joy and love which will bring glory to name of Jesus.
Marriage represents the union between Christ and his Church and anything which is done in the marriage union which does not glorify God misrepresents his character to the universe and the world.
God did not create the husband to batter and abuse the wife violently nor did he create the wife to batter and abuse the husband or parents their children, abuse is a vile evil which takes hold of one of the parties and the only way they know how to deal with situations and their own failings is to lash out with control and violence.
Abuse is a learned behaviour it does not happen overnight it is a mental state of mind many abusers where abused and so the behaviour was handed down to them which is truly sad the abuser will not admit that they have a serious mental problem but will blame everyone else because they feel comfortable as the power holder and can turn the control knob at their whims and fancy.
The decision to leave or call the cops on someone you love is never easy it is the hardest thing to do you need the abuse to stop and deep down somehow you still feel affection for the one doing the abuse, in your mind you are well aware that the abuser needs help, for many years you may pause before making a stand because you keep saying he/she will change.
Change comes when you make a stand and place the individual in a situation to accept their behaviour as cruel and detrimental to another human being and themselves.
Many say to themselves “he/she will never do it again” and you will make all excuse which “seems” plausible and correct to your mental state at the time and all the while as you remain in such a situation you are losing your identity and being ripped apart emotionally and physically. You become fearful and weak and the abuser takes advantage of such a situation when other’s see you smile you are crying inside and bawling for help.
When you do gain the courage to take a stand in saying no more abuse and the abuser is caught he/she will appeal to your emotions and cry, beg plead, use the most loving and caring tone, use the children, financial situations, family and friends and even church members they will make such appealing promises that the abuse will never happen again.
Because they are now in a place where their power has been cut and they must be faced with the monster they truly are, and yes the abuser may have some good qualities the vilest of men have some good qualities should you remain and continue being abused because of this, this is what will hold many victims thinking to themselves that the abuse is my fault but my dear abuse is NEVER your fault.
The decisions which you have to make in getting out of an abusive relationship no counsellor, cop, family, pastor, church member or friend can make them for you, you must with prayer and supplication cry out to God and sit back and take a long hard look at yourself and your life and ask yourself the following questions:
Was I created to be battered and abused?
Is this what marriage and life is all about?
would I like my children to abuse another human being or to be abused?
Am I happy with my present situation?
Can I shout for joy and feel comfortable yelling to the world “I am abused and Love the feeling?
The decision will never be easy nor the road to recovery but a decision must be made a decision to walk away and break all ties, separate, or let the person seek counsel while you separate and monitor the counselling sessions but one thing is for sure the victim must not remain in the same house while the individual is going through counselling.
God wants you to be wise pray and fast always remember Love is the principle of God and being obedient to his word by precept and example love is never violent acts of consistent abusive behaviour.
Abuse is NEVER your fault and it should not be accepted at no time.
With Love from the desk of